Today marks one year since I had my life changing surgery. While I should have been celebrating all that I have accomplished I'm sitting here beating myself up. Not because I've lost 100 pounds in the last year but because I only lost 3 pounds in the last 4 months. I broke down in the doctor's office crying because that was not what I wanted to see. I wanted to see larger numbers. I wanted to see 20 pounds. Not 3! Dr. V asked me "when was the last time you lost 100 pounds? When was the last time you ran or walked 6 miles?" He reminded me that I do have a lot to be proud of. Am I where I want to be? No. Can I get where I want to be? Yes. I will get there. I need to stop beating myself up over this and figure out how to get where I want to be.
I want to get back to my blog because, well, I've not written anything in well over a year. Writing helps me and I just need to get back to it. In that year I have put on some of my weight. How much...oh, like 35 pounds! Some of that is from my hormonal change after a hysterectomy. Some of that is stress. But most of that is my addiction. My name is Shannon and I'm addicted to food. Yes, addicted to food. It is my drug of choice. I'm not addicted to healthy foods. I'm addicted to sweets to the point that I have days that I eat nothing but sweets. I have tried several medications to help me but none have helped so far. I am going to be working on myself again and working to overcome this addiction. It is so hard but I can do it.
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