A Princess in the Making...

Two weeks ago I went for my two year follow up. I had gained 12 pounds from my lowest point. I felt defeated and disappointed in myself. The doctor changed a few medications and gave me lots of great advice. I've tried to change my eating habits back to smaller, more frequent meals. I've increased my protein and decreased my sweets. I've lost 3 of those pounds and will hopefully have the other 9 off before the next doctors visit.

Tomorrow I go for my 2 year follow up from surgery.  I really thought about cancelling my appointment because I'm mad at myself for not being where I want to be.  Not only am I not there but I have also gained about 10 pounds.  I am hoping tomorrow's appointment will help me move in the right direction and get to my goal weight.

They say a picture is worth a thousand words but for me I'm speechless. I had no idea how fat I was. Even as I started taking the weight off I couldn't see it. I still can't look in the mirror and see it but then again, I didn't see how fat I was either. Today's picture makes me proud. So yes. I'm going to pat myself on the back today!

Today marks one year since I had my life changing surgery.  While I should have been celebrating all that I have accomplished I'm sitting here beating myself up.  Not because I've lost 100 pounds in the last year but because I only lost 3 pounds in the last 4 months.  I broke down in the doctor's office crying because that was not what I wanted to see.  I wanted to see larger numbers.  I wanted to see 20 pounds.  Not 3!  Dr. V asked me "when was the last time you lost 100 pounds?  When was the last time you ran or walked 6 miles?"  He reminded me that I do have a lot to be proud of.  Am I where I want to be?  No.  Can I get where I want to be?  Yes.  I will get there.  I need to stop beating myself up over this and figure out how to get where I want to be.

May 12th 2014 was a day of rebirth for me.  After 2 full weeks of nothing but fluids it was do or die for me.  Had they not sedated me before I left the pre-op room I would have gotten off the table and walked out of the OR and had a huge breakfast.  I guess I can say thank you to that versed that they gave me as we rolled away.  So what difference has a year made? *I feel 100% better!  *I can walk without being out of breath. *I can shop off the regular clothes rack (well, the short people's racks). *My food bill has gone down. *My clothes size has gone from a 26 to a 12. *I want to take care of myself now. *I smile. *I started buying things for me. *I've cut out half of my medications. *I'm proud of myself. *I want to exercise. *I want healthier foods. I must say that my only regret about my surgery is that I didn't do it sooner.  Things have slowed down but I'm continuing to push and determined to get the last 30 lbs. off!

10 months in and this is the results...

Like with any diet when the weight stops coming off things get really hard. Just frustrated that my weightloss is at a haunt. Trying to figure out how to get it moving again.